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Wednesday, 24 August 2016
Monday, 22 August 2016
Somehow, I’ve started speaking less.
It surely sounds like a relief to the people around me but this thing is kind of taking a toll on me. It is affecting me big time.
Sometimes I wonder am I moving towards depression? What is it that is going wrong in my life? Or what is it that is bothering me so much?
Everything, almost everything around me is in good shape and yet I don’t feel that joy. Even if there is a sense of happiness, it is temporary.
I don’t feel like going out, I don’t feel like meeting my friends and even if I do, I barely speak with them and I mostly prefer to stay mum. And yes, I do cry for no reason. Tiniest of things affect me, my sensitivity is at its epitome! All of it is so UNLIKE me! Countless thoughts revolve around the orbit of my brain and it’s difficult to find an escape. These thoughts are usually negative.
I’m turning into a woman I don’t like. My zeal to do things seems to flicker, the emphatic nature that I have seems to fade away, finding joys in others joys seems like a task, I get unhappy with what I have and wish for things (not necessarily materialistic) that others have!
All this is because I’m speaking less. And I don’t really know why! I always have expressed my heart out, talking to people has been my forte, and meeting them and feeling good has always been on my plus side! And now, suddenly, it seems incomplete.
I know it in my heart when I’m back to my usual self, all of this crap will go away!
Not that I have a lot of free time, a lot is going on but that volition to be good, do things, entertain people, be the heart and soul of my friends is languishing.
Yesterday, I met a dear friend after a really long time. And she was busy on her phone mostly and I was bored and thus ended up being on my phone! Again so unlike me!
I was home after being at my mum’s place for a couple of days and coming home meant happiness, it meant seeing my husband after a while. It was bliss. I loved having him around and things were going pretty smooth between us. And yet, I got pissed on such a petty thing. And spoilt my mood. And mind you, he was nowhere at fault. It was all in my head, all the futile, baseless thoughts that I keep having, that botch up everything around me, every time!
Is it depression? Are these the symptoms? Or is it the late-twenty crisis? Or are my planetary situations a bit deviated from their paths (if only there is a sound reason behind it)? I don’t know it yet and I don’t feel like finding out either!
The situation is not that worse, but it’s not good on the other hand! Something is bothering me, I just don’t know it yet!
Does this ring a bell with you? Have you felt something like this? What did you do? How did you escape? You gotta tell me! It really is affecting me!
Thursday, 18 August 2016
To the woman in my dreams
To the one, I want to be
I strive hard to come near you
But fail miserably in an attempt or two!
And fighting the odds with grace
Accepting things beyond my control
Make peace and be ace!
To love with compassion
And have the wisdom to fathom the world
To indulge in things and people
Living the life of inspiration is waiting to be unfurled!
To the long strides, I take
And the dream to take that perfect gait.
My head high and shoulders straight
Sparkling eyes, as I walk with aplomb.
To create magic in the words
I dream to stand out from the herd
Nothing in the world
Can stop inside that flying bird!
Yes, it’s a task
A journey through life
But I assure to meet you
One day, some day!
Sunday, 7 August 2016
As we come towards the finishing line of this enthusiastic BarAThon, all I feel is sheer bliss. The bliss of completing it. The bliss of making connections. The bliss of knowing so many incredible bloggers. I have participated in other challenges as well and have duly fulfilled them in time, but there is something about BAR.
It holds people together, it’s like that magic glue that sticks together everybody and has now tied us all in one big family. Never ever had I thought of having this kind of impact on myself at the end of a challenge.
And what better day it would be than today, Friendships Day, to write the last post of the challenge!
Thank you, BAR! Thank you for being you!
All you BAR-tenders are fabulous people and I're so so so glad to have connected with you... all of
And with this, I make a few promises to myself!
1. Promise to accept things and people the way they are, and not try to change them according to myself.
2. Promise to deliver the best in every possible way when it comes to my work.
3. Promise to embrace the differences with open arms we both share and see every new thing in a positive manner.
4. Promise to laugh off petty things and move ahead with time
5. Promise to love unconditionally and spread its magic.
6. Promise to love me before anyone else. I know it always gets hard and I put others before me and get hurt, every time. Every single time. That’s why I’m making a promise.
7. Promise to not do anything that may harm or hurt people who’re close to me.
8. Promise to value what I have and acknowledge the people behind it
9. Promise to be with you every time you need me!
10. Promise to follow my heart and do things that it always has wanted to do!
Saturday, 6 August 2016
Her day started with snoozing the alarm and yearning to sleep for 5 more minutes, followed by all the household chores. Siya then made breakfast and the preparations that came along for packing a lunchbox for herself and her husband.
Husband worked in the production house.
While Siya’s entire day went busily at work, handling clients, taking calls, making arrangements, entertaining new customers and the day passed in a jiffy.
Only to return home and make dinner, eat with husband and then open her laptop.
A laptop that unleashed the zillion possibilities, a laptop that made her dream... to fulfil all the unfulfilled dreams... a laptop that had umpteen tabs opened, showcasing all the tour packages to travel her country... to travel the world!
It would all have been possible... if for once, the husband said yes!