Tuesday, 7 April 2015

F- Familiarity breeds Contempt

I was a child when I heard this phrase 'Familiarity breeds Contempt' but didn't understand anything about it then.. and so went to the one who had all the answers to my inquisitiveness- my Mother.

Me- "Mom.. what does 'Familiarity breeds Contempt' mean?"

Mom- "It's a phrase darling.”

Me- “And what does it means?”

Mom- “So it goes like, once you know a person, more than it is required, you start to dislike them."

Me- "But that's absurd mother. When we know someone a little, we feel this need to know them more. But what you're saying is totally opposite. It's confusing!"

Mom- "I get you child. But when you start knowing a person more and more, you come to know a lot about them, which includes their bad qualities as well, which might not be good according to you, or may be after knowing certain things about them, you don't feel anything special about them. Which is why the quote, 'familiarity breeds contempt'. Now you understand?"

Me- "I guess."

Mom-  "Good. You can go play for sometime if you want."

Me- "Sure."

It took a long time for me to understand this quote. I got it's meaning then, and it didn't took much long either for me to realize this in life. There's something about obscurity. The more you reveal things, the more harm you're bringing to yourself. But it's actually pretty confusing. If you really like someone, you automatically start sharing stuff and reciprocate by giving a patient ear to your close ones. With time, you develop a bond, closeness and then, suddenly, it takes a U-turn! Many start to get away from you, or few will try to maintain some distance with you, others will not be seen for months and so on.

I think its basic human psychology. When you know nothing about a person, you wanna know everything about them and just when you start to get a bit of idea about stuff, you find reasons to avoid them. Reason could be:-

a. You do not like the other side of the person
b. You don't feel this need to interact any more
c. May be you have overrated someone, and later it all gets deflated
d. There might be a huge gap between expectation v/s reality

Well, it could be anything. It happens with people, it happens with things, things you use to love and after having them, they hardly hold any value to you, and it happens certain hobbies as well. Initially, everyone loves doing them, but with time people realize where their true interest lies.

I think it's good that it happens this way. People who are really yours and who really love you, admire you, will always be by your side and will Accept you the way you are.. no matter how much they know you. I have known people, family and friends, and the more they know, the more they are willing to be close and accept things that happen with time, irrespective of 'Familiarity breeds Contempt'. So yeah, it is an eye opener, but if you're to yourself, you will always have someone by your side, even after knowing you inside out.

Happy Reading


12 Discussion

  1. It is an eye opener indeed, familiarity can breed contempt, but that's just life.

  2. Its a very common saying; I too feel that when we love someone truly; we will accept all aspects of their personality,,, sometimes its not easy yet I do have friends who have been with me for more than two decades and still continue to be my friends and I am glad...

    1. I totally agree with you Angela..
      Thanks for dropping by :)


  3. I just found out that my partner was a track star in school. We've known each other for almost a decade and that never came up until a few days ago! There is a fine art to maintaining some level of mystery apparently! I love discovering new things about people I think I know. As an artist documenting my art and creative process I find out new things about myself all the time. We are all infinite :)

    1. That's great to know.. It's lucky to have our friends this close!


  4. When you know nothing about a person, you wanna know everything about them and just when you start to get a bit of idea about stuff, you find reasons to avoid them. - Well said.

  5. This is a thought provoking post. Good one, Geetika. :)
    *Shantala @ ShanayaTales*

  6. However, sometimes when you accept a person the way he/she is, this phrase wouldn't stand true ;-)


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