Friday, 24 April 2015

U- Uncertainty in Marriages

So practically, everything in life is uncertain. From what we eat for our good health, to the electronic gadgets that we buy, from the ornaments that want to flaunt to watching a movie by a popular star cast, from the investments in the market with the hope of getting assured returns, to a student joining an institute or a professional course to have that extra edge, but without any certainty to be placed.. So basically we are surrounded with almost everything which is uncertain.. and in the midst of so  many uncertainties, lies the uncertainty of this big word called Marriage.

It’s all risk that we take. Nobody knows what’s going to happen next and one is not even sure if this is the right thing to do, yet people rush into making that one crucial decision of life in haste. Just because one has crossed 25 or just because one has a younger daughter who has come of age to be married doesn’t imply to run things hastily for the elder one. Or if by any chance if the family finds out the best groom in town, err, universe, get your daughter married! Well, what logic is this? I mean how on earth these reasons can be even accepted to convince anyone for marriage. And what next? Who will take the responsibility of the happiness of both the girl and the boy? Where is it written that it’s going to be a happy marriage? Even after having all luxuries and all the freedom, if still there is no chemistry between the partners then what sense does it make to stay with each other at all? Or what’s the assurance that both are going to get along well with each other?  There are marriages which are dragged by couples just for the sake of the family name. And this makes the condition worse. It happens not only in an arranged marriage but is also seen in love marriages.

“You don’t love me the way use to before marriage”, “you don’t talk to me much”, “you don’t share anything new about yourself”, “we’ve lost that spark”, etc. etc. I’m sure you must have heard such sentences from a lot many couples. First, when they were dating, they wanted to be with each other and now when they’re married, they hardly find anything interesting in each other. I am not saying that all love marriages are the same. It’s all about finding the right person, sharing that compatibility, that chemistry, that strong urge to be with another, that need to share.. to talk your heart out.. and if you have found one, you are VERY lucky. Ask someone, the value of all of it who longs for such things in life. And then there a few arranged marriages, which makes you realized it isn't that bad.. such examples are very hard to find, otherwise most of them exist on the word Compromise!

Well, there’s a bit more to it. Have a few examples to share:
  1.  So let’s say a couple gets married (arranged). In spite of all the drama before the wedding because   the quality of gifts that both families exchanged, the marriage happens (as the bride and the groom were drowned in love). Now post marriage, bride finds out that there’s some serious illness to the guy. It comes as a shock to her, but she decides to be with her husband as they both belong to each other. Now a few months later she finds out that his disease is not new and it’s been there from a few years, plus there’s no treatment which is going on and the family is not ready to listen or provide any support to it. So how a girl should respond to this? She loves the guy, so don’t want to leave him, but is really mad at his family and him for not disclosing all of it at the time of marriage. Uncertainty.
  2.  Another case, guy assures the girl that she can continue with work post marriage. But after the big day, he and his family refuses. Girl walks off from the marriage. Uncertainty
  3. Couple gets married (love) after a relationship of eight long years. Now, guy loves someone else and doesn’t have much interest in his wife. Girl forces to have to child to bring back the intimacy. Again uncertain.
You’re 26, you should get married! O.. you’ve completed 2 years of marriage, why no baby? Plan now.. it is the right time.. best time for you.. then you’ll be free.. or is there a problem? Why don’t you go and see XYZ doctor.. it’ll help you out! 
My goodness, what on earth makes you bicker so much! Having a baby or not is completely mine and my husband’s choice.. who on earth are you to be so worried about my personal life! Have a job.. get a life.. Please! What I don’t understand is, when there nothing certain at all about anything then why risk a life of the third individual in this? If there is a lack of intimacy between the couple, what’s the proof that it won’t be there after bringing another life into existence? But that is how it is. Accept it. 
In this constant uncertainty, all you can do is believe in yourself, trust your instincts.. rest all leave to your Karma.

What do think of uncertainty? Is there anything that you think comes with a guarantee? I would love to know about it..?

P.S: Sorry to make you read so much..!

Happy Reading


7 Discussion

  1. Good post. All relationships are uncertain; such is life. Marriages included.

  2. I simply loved the post :) Because I could totally relate to that ;) Uncertainties in Indian marriage scenario is more because of people's behavior and approach towards life. It's ridiculous you know.
    Still apart from all these if something must be certain that is an individual's thoughts.
    Thanks for visiting my blog and for the lovely comment :) I will take some time and read your older A to Z posts. Happy writing :)

    1. Thank you so much Sushree for dropping by :)

      I'll be totally glad :)


  3. Very true. We need stop looking for guarantees and start making the best of what we have. :)

    Nothing's for sure. That's for sure. - Loved the quote. Thanks for sharing. :)

    1. Thank you so much Shantala.. :)


  4. That's very true i agree with you,thank you..
    Match finder has united many Vishwakarma brides and grooms. Register on Match finder to find your matching bride.viswakarma matrimony


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