Monday, 22 February 2016
Are you married just yet? If yes, then you’re lucky for a while, but not for long. But let’s just say you’re married for 2 years now and I’m sure you must be bombarded with hell lot of unsolicited advices for taking a step ahead in your life, starting your own family and having a baby.
I am married for 3 years now and will celebrate my 4th anniversary this year in October. I’m sure you must have got a hunch about things must have been at my end when it comes to starting my family. Certain reasons sound okay, while certain sound just as funny.
In the first place, I feel, who are you to tell me about how to go about things in life? Especially, a thing as personal as this? And this comes from a set of people with whom I barely talk, we hardly communicate and know each other. We don’t know each other and here you come, unabashedly giving all the not-so-required suggestions. And the nosy relatives! You know how poky they get when it comes to others business.
Let me throw a few statements that I get. They may be instances as well that I’m telling you.
- So once, we wanted to buy some furniture for my MIL’s room. And after scouting a number of shops, we finally found the right shop and the right piece that we were looking for. This took 2-3 days, visiting couple of shops and finally placing the order at the right shop. After signing the deal, on our way to home, I was really happy and relieved that we could finally make the choice and was pondering about the same while driving. And while on the way, I also learned that just the way it took so many efforts for us to find the right furniture, it will surely take a bit time and effort to make a baby! I mean what logic is this? Or maybe the logic is correct, but what timing was that? We were talking about furniture and then automatically the entire topic now shifted towards family planning! While I was secretly thinking in my head to cancel the next place we had to go and raised the speed to reach home as early as possible.
- One Sunday evening, while watching a movie together with family, during a break, A, asked if we could go to the mall to buy some stuff. Now one thing with A, is that he can’t shop during sale period (and it was sale period then). Also, when the place is too crowded, he’s not able to shop again. He would move around, look up some stuff but won’t buy, because the place is stuffed with too many people. And that was the reason I was a bit reluctant to go. His parents asked him what he wanted to buy, to which he casually replied, nothing specific, just general time pass. We were anyway home, watching TV all day, so it would be a bit of change. To this we get to hear, that we should surely have kids now, so that we’ll not get bored and won’t do unnecessary time pass! While they as well have nothing to do most of times! So having a baby would resolve lot of things! Again, what he proposed and what answer he got were two completely non related things.
- Or let’s just say, no one is getting married this year, so that’s the best time to have a baby. Coz next year X may get hooked up, the other year Y and then Z. So no time later. But this year looks completely free and empty. How about filling it up with a baby? Well, how about completing it with yearly goals, learning a new thing, excelling in work, increasing the number of work hours so that there’s no time at all to get bored?! Just because no one is getting married or there are couple of weddings lined up next year, this year is the best to have a bun in the oven sounds completely absurd to me.
-Because you were the first one to get married and now your friends have started having kids, though they got married after you! Is it a competition of ‘who makes baby first?’ that is going on? Had that been the case, A said, marriage wasn’t the thing that was required. Babies could be made out wedlock as well! (O I am so glad he backs me up every time this topic comes up).
- Coz before 30, you should have two kids with a minimum gap of three years between the kids and you are already running out of time! Du-uh! I am 27 and I have ample amount of time! And who said we want two kids?
I know it’s an important part of life and I’ll do it only when A, and I feel comfortable about this. Other than us, I don’t think anyone has got any right to pester, lecture us about it every other day!
How about eating good food, hanging out with friends, partying occasionally, working your ass off the whole week while relaxing and chilling on Sundays, all of these sound great deal to me. As of now. It may get changed later, of course.
While the reasons are never ending and the advices are plenty, I’m sure you too must have faced this during social gatherings or family events or in your daily life. Certain reasons do make sense, while most of them are absurd, idiotic, and laughable at the same time.
What do people say to you? Do they bug you with such inquiries and unsolicited advices? Is it the same or you face something different? Do you answer back right away? Let me know if you do, coz I really need some new answers and I might just use yours.
Linking with Microblog Monday