Monday, 15 February 2016

Unleash your Capabilities!


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Marriage is an eye opener for many, I believe. And I say this because it kind of opened my eyes too. There was a time when I thought life comes to a full stop post marriage, that there’s not much to rejoice and live your life to the full after marriage, that if there was anything at all it was before the D-day (not that I haven’t enjoyed myself before marriage, but just a few pre –conceived notions I had) and I am so glad to be wrong (for a change) about this.
I, for one, started my life after my marriage to be honest. All my wishes, all my desires, my aspirations started taking shape after I got married. Not that being married was one.
And with time I realized what all things I was capable enough to do.
I am driving from quite a long time, but the real challenge came up when I started taking the classes. You just can’t guess the area where the institute is located and you barely have any idea about the kind of traffic that exists there. Every city has an old city and a new one and the place where I teach is located in the older one. And so, people there aren’t any younger either (or their mentality for that matter)! 
When I have to struggle to reach my destination, I come across lots of vehicles parked incorrectly (by men), which block the traffic so often, over speeding youngsters on bike (boys) who disturb the entire flow of driving, the rickshaws, the pedestrians, and mind you, the place where I go is full of men. You will barely see any woman in sight, and the kind of looks that I get from all those starry eyes! That’s a woman who is driving. She doesn’t know how to park the car. She doesn’t know how to drive well. How is she handling that car? And what not?! 
Well, I am not bragging here about myself or anything, but I drive way better than many men on the road. I obey all the rules, I follow the traffic lights, I don’t drive rash, I don’t just shatter away like crazy! That tiny space where I park my car every single day, most men refuse to admit if that place is capable of accommodating my car! Wearing formals and carrying a bag doesn’t mean I can’t do stuff that men are supposedly do.
We’re surrounded by it. Everywhere. 69% of men agree that their judgement of women is based on their looks. 64% of women agree that the judgments passed on them have affected their ability to reach their true potential.
70% of women agree that majority of judgments on women are from family members or friends rather than strangers.
72% of women agree that working women face more judgments on their looks or their clothes than housewives.
Yes. These are real statistics. There was a wonderful video I came across last week and it got viral too on social media that asked the audience to guess the hobby of the girl based on her looks. I’m sure you must have seen it but if not, you can check it here.

Did you see how things function around us?

When we see a woman carrying a child, we assume she must be home, she has no life, she’s probably not happy, her husband is not supportive and what not! When we see an old woman with an old man who’re probably dating or discovering each other, well it’s obviously budhaape mein ash kar rhe hain (having fun in the old age) that comes to the mind. When we see girls wearing too much of makeup, or wearing too short clothes, or too funky hair, or too dark lipstick, or too many rings and bangles and bracelet and hair colour! What about seeing too many boys with one single girl? What about being friends with only boy? Sounds odd? And then fashion! My goodness! Hair extensions.. No way! What about piercing? Under the lips, below the eye brow, and how about a tattoo? Right beneath your shoulder where you can flaunt it easily. Of course, she’s a hippie! She may not have a character as well, don’t you think? And that where it needs to stop. It’s not our bloody business to know what and why she wears, who she dates, who she sleeps with, is she having a child, is there some medical problem, and what not?! Oh and the one’s with the nannies, well, that’s their choice totally. They’re probably not as efficient as you and need some help or even if she is efficient enough, she does not like doing it by herself and so has hired a maid, big deal! It’s her life and she is the one who gets to decide what should be done and what not! One really needs to learn to mind their own business.
There was a time when I used to cook regularly and the looks that I used to get from kins around, Oh you cook? What a boring thing to do and what a boring life you have! Only cooking! Who does that these days? Very homely she is. We can’t be like this. Thank God we have a staff! And now when I don’t and have someone who does that, it’s like, What a spoilt brat? Doesn’t even cooks! It’s so shameful! I mean where should one go? One can never satisfy the society. Best is to ignore all of it and do what you feel is right, what your conscience allows! Simple.

Nobody will notice how well are you doing at your work, how hard are you trying to make your day a productive one, all one cares and notices of, she gets to stay out all day, she has a car all by herself for as much as she wants, she doesn’t has to cook, nobody says anything to her, she wears jeans and all the clothes of her choice and the list is endless.

I drive. I drink (O I don’t drink and drive of course!), I wear red lipstick, I don’t have kids, I’ll plan them when I’ll feel it’s the right time to do and not when you will ask me to, I love to wear sarees, I love to take care of my family, I love to dance, crazy dance, on loud music, I love to party, I have friends, guy friends as well and I talk to them, but I am capable of working my ass off all day and then attend guests at night, I am capable of standing one feet all day to get my work done, even in the night if required,  I know my commitments and they will always be priority first no matter what comes in. I am capable of giving unconditional love to my loved ones and it’s the joy of loving them and being loved in return. I am ambitious, may be a bit too much for you to handle, but that’s your problem. Isn’t it?

And it will never have a full stop.
Source
Well, “I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.”

I’m sure you too face things like these every day, so tell me what is your story? Tell me what you’re capable of? How does society judge you? What do you hear about yourself? Tell me all of it and I’ll be all ears to it!

Cheers 

23 Discussion

  1. We face this kind of discrimination every single day. You're judged and found wanting simply by what you wear. Despite women breaking stereotypes every single day the judgement continues. Guess it'll take a long long time for things to change.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes. Things have changed a lot but a lot has to be done. It will take more time to finish the judgement. Thanks for dropping by Tulika :)

      Cheers

      Delete
  2. I, like you, believe in living life the way I choose. Each society has its own convenient methods to keep the wings of women chipped off. However, it is the high spirits of women like you that we still have a voice. Thanks for sharing your thoughts across.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And women like you who encourage the other women across all sections. It will take lot of women bring it down and shatter the pride of judgement. Thank you so much Ankita for your appreciation :) I am so glad.

      Cheers

      Delete
  3. Huh! Iron lady ?
    Naah . may b ms.perfectionist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha..!! You do it every time.. with your comments :)
      Thanks a lot Ajay :)

      Cheers

      Delete
  4. I am in my 60's. I remember being told to hide my intelligence and hide the books I liked to read so I wouldn't scare eligible men away. Sadly, times have not changed as much as we would like to think.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, it hasn't and that's the reason why we require more force of women to come and break all the barriers. Good to know that people were afraid of your intelligence.
      Thanks for dropping by :)

      Cheers

      Delete
  5. Hurray for being yourself . Yes we women face discrimination and are cast as stereotypes but funnily enough the people who cast the first stone are often women themselves!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes. That's a valid point. But times are changing. Women have started encouraging each other as well. At least in the blogging community. It takes hell lot of time to change things around. This too shall change :)
      Thanks a lot :)

      Cheers

      Delete
  6. Too many stereotypes to handle but so cool of you to break them every single day. Let things be and you do what's right for you and your family. You are capable. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Parul. Your words mean so much to me. And they encourage me to write a new post every time. You're a sweertheart :)

      Cheers

      Delete
  7. People judge... and there's nothing we can do about it. We can only change our attitude and live like no one's watching. I don't handle stereotypes because I don't even care for an unsolicited opinion. Kudos to you for breaking every rule :) And I always have special respect for women who can drive... coz that's one think I am too scared to try.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks much Raj.. It feels nice when someone connects with you. That's the best you do. Ignore. I wish me and many others had that thing to ignore things around us. It really leaves things in peace.
      Glad to hear from you :)

      Cheers

      Delete
  8. I firmly beleive that if you do What you want to and what your heart says then one will be happy.. yeah there will be the usual things being said etc etc But who cares..
    loving yourself and keeping yourself happy is the most important always ..

    Bikram's

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. O yes, loving yourself is the best thing to do. For sure. Anyway, the world has to comment on every single thing that one does.
      Thanks Bikram :)

      Cheers

      Delete
  9. There are discriminations.. There are gender roles and ratios skewed up!!! But as a societty we musnt stop giving up on our selves... and fight to strive to do what we believe in.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes. For sure. That is how we learn to fight all the odds around us and win for ourselves. Glad that we resonate :)

      Cheers

      Delete
  10. There are discriminations.. There are gender roles and ratios skewed up!!! But as a societty we musnt stop giving up on our selves... and fight to strive to do what we believe in.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Seems everybody has an opinion of everybody else these days. But I have learned to not bother much of what people say...I know what I am capable of.

    Great read!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes.. everyone has opinion of others except about themselves.. That's how it works these days..
      Thanks Alok :)

      Cheers

      Delete
  12. I so agree with your viewpoints... I am unmarried and I know what people say about me... I started cooking recently and everyone had similar comments as you have mentioned... Woman are always judged, put under the limelight and forced to face... No matter what out attitude, we will be judged. So why not put up the best attitude :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes.. why not put up the best attitude.. that's what we need to learn :)
      I am glad you could relate to what I've written Loco..

      Cheers

      Delete

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