Saturday, 8 April 2017
You know how much there is pressure in our society for boys to earn well and be a responsible son. Sure, times have changed a lot and girls are equally working today. But the pressure to work on a girl is nowhere close to how it is with boys. With girls, the pressure is more about getting married, doesn’t matter how many zeroes you have in your paycheck!
But what one can one do if he’s not able to do anything it all? Done with school- check, done with graduation-check, done with PG-check, now started working? Still a question mark!
With the pressure to do more and more, sometimes the boys too tend to break down and no matter how much they try; they’re not able to do anything. And by anything, I literally mean anything.
All his friends are working and he isn’t. Something triggers in his mind but he doesn’t realize. Father is asking him to do a course so that he can help with his business and he’s not interested. Father is asking him if he wants to study further, still nothing, the mother tries to find out what’s going on but nothing fruitful comes out! The result, the child/boy stops going out with friends, family, for movies and does nothing!
Parents are angry and worried at the same time. The society keeps on asking, what your son is doing, where is he working, is he done with his education, what kind of work is he interested in and on and on and on. Actually, the endless questions that society throws at people are what worry the family beyond anything else!
Maybe the boy is suffering from depression. But who will identify that? And then visiting a psychiatrist is still considered a taboo! What if anyone finds out? Everyone will think their son has gone mad and is getting treated! And in the midst of it, it the boy who is suffering every day of his life. Having no one by his side, no one who could understand the turmoil he is going through, not a single soul to talk his woes! Everybody just wants him to grow up, take up the responsibilities and start behaving like an adult! Nobody would let him be, and make him succumb to the norms that society has created! Nobody would be ready to accept the fact that an adult man is sitting in the house, doing nothing!
When will we as a society come out of it? When will we accept everyone around us and stop thinking about what others will think? When will we fight monsters like depression if we ourselves consider it something bad?
So many people are trying to change things around by being more open about it, by asking them to seek help, that there is no harm in getting it treated by a professional, that there so many NGO’s trying to fight for it, that the stigma that you think is attached is only in your head and nowhere else!
As much as we try, it will take a lot of years to clean up this air in the society, I feel!
And yes, we shouldn’t be so hard on boys or men in our society!