Monday, 10 April 2017

H- Happiness


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Imagine a girl. Beautiful, brown girl with brown eyes, short but looks mature and has long hair. You can see the dark brown color on her hands... its henna (mehndi)! You find it peculiar because the hands are full... from fists till beyond elbows! But it looks pretty. You like the ornaments she’s wearing. You notice the red lips and the pink cheeks and the kohl in her eyes! Her fingers are full of rings and hands with bangles. You notice the red vermillion neatly applied in her hair and then you finally fathom the reason behind her radiant smile! She looks happy and that makes you happy!
You give her countless blessings and wish her a happy life ahead!

Now, take another instance, imagine all of the above with the girl’s age as only 17! You’re suddenly bombarded with questions in your head. Happiness is all gone now and you’re wondering about her future! And she’s not even educated, doesn’t earn much and in a year or two, she’ll be having a baby in her hands! Why in the world did she do all this? Couldn’t she wait, a little?

Well, here’s a clearer picture now. The girl mentioned above is your maid’s daughter and she’s had everything but childhood! All she’d done her life is visit huge mansions where her mother worked, cleaned their homes, cooked them food, watered their garden, take care of their children at the time when she herself was a child!

What about the school you wonder? They were a large family and obviously they couldn’t afford.
And she doesn’t mind anything about it because that’s what she’s seen around her. Her elder sisters, brothers, mother... everyone worked in houses and made their living. She too was doing the same.

In her family, marriage happened a little early to some stranger, with whom they spend the rest of their life, in exchange for being raped and beaten all night after he comes home drunk and doesn’t give a penny to spend! At least that is what she saw around her.

It will be the same for her as well, just like her mother and sisters!

Between cleaning houses from morning till evening, one fine day she met a boy and fell in love with him. The boy worked in a factory and made decent money. He loved her a lot and wanted to marry her. She knew there were going to be issues about their marriage in the family, but she was ready to fight for her love! It’s better than being married to a stranger who wouldn’t treat me nice, let alone love me, she thought to herself. 


She kept the boy’s proposal to her family and the family agreed! The boy’s family didn’t demand a dowry. And there she was... the happily married girl who had come to seek the blessings of the aunties for whom she’d worked all life.

What she realized was everyone gave her advice to work and study but no one was ready to actually help her out. No one would be willing to take that extra step that would make a better future for her. Sure they were right, and she was too young to tie the knot, but then at the end of the day, she was with the man who loved her and had great respect for her.

And guess what, he even wanted her to study after marriage! She couldn’t be any happier!

Do you think happiness is all that matters? Or should one follow the social norms and do things the way they’re done?

P.S: The boy, with whom she got married, was only 18! And he is young, married and Happy!

Cheers
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------This A to Z Challengeseason I’m going to give you a ride and take you to all the places untouched! My theme this year is Let’s see the other Side’where I’ll be sharing about the daily nuances that we’ve been seeing in the same way since 1990’s! (:P) But this time you’re going to ponder over it a bit differently.

Stay tuned to find out what's more in store!

46 Discussion

  1. This is a situation no one wants to be - pushed in to something even before you understand it!
    Tina

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And yet, somehow it happens to be true!

      Cheers

      Delete
  2. Social norms are to make others happy. But we should do what gives us happiness. After all, it's our life and being happy is what matters. People will judge anyhow.

    Hostel Life

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, in the end it is happiness that counts!

      Cheers

      Delete
  3. I think the girl made the right decision in marrying a boy who understands her. Getting married that young is not a good thing but she seems to have married a person who understands her and encourages her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I'm too against marriage at an early age, but given how things work in her community, I think she made the right decision!

      Cheers

      Delete
  4. Though they both are quite young at least they are happy with each other buddy. Conformity to social norms only raises expectations one much rather embrace what makes him/ her happy.
    Brilliant tales here Geetika, thought provoking, love them buddy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much sweetheart! *Happy happy*

      Cheers

      Delete
  5. Social norms may have worked decades ago when first practiced and started, but like everything else they must adapt and change. Interesting post.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Great take Geetika. If they are ready to fight for their happiness they should be given a chance
    Honor

    ReplyDelete
  7. First of all, in my opinion, marriage itself is a societal construct and shouldn't be mandatory. I know you're looking at the other side and illustrating the happiness of the couple in question, and that's fine. But I've had classmates who got married at 15/17 etc. It's kind of sad.

    PS: We both chose the same word for the letter H. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! I too am against getting married at an early age but it is this girl I am talking about. She anyway, would have got married in a year or two to some stranger and curse her life forever. Here, at least, she knows she will be happy and have a future she would look forward to!

      Cheers

      Delete
  8. I agree with Deliciously Alive. True she's too young, but at least, she's marrying someone who already has a job and understands the importance of education for her as well. Yes, there is no guarantee that this might not change after marriage, but nobody has seen their future. Right? I think societal norms are just chains. I should know... I've spent my whole life outside the norms.
    Happy AtoZing!
    Chicky @ www.mysteriouskaddu.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah! No one knows the future, whatever is meant to happen will eventually happen regardless of the circumstances!

      Cheers

      Delete
  9. I don't think one should ever follow social norms without questioning whether it fits in with one's own life situation. Awkward situation.
    Hindsight #Lexicon of Leaving

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is quite an awkward situation! But then happiness is all that matters!

      Cheers

      Delete
  10. I wouldn't want to judge anyone as each has their own reasons. But I'm glad she got what she wanted and hope that she will be happy with him.

    Suzy at Someday Somewhere - Help Comes ...

    ReplyDelete
  11. I still think getting married under 18 should not be allowed. And yet, I guess the story you've presented, this would be the lesser of evils and opening up more opportunities.

    Harrisham Rhyme - Over

    ReplyDelete
  12. Was it not possible for both the boy and girl to wait till they finish their basic studies...have some respectable source of income....
    Of course, these ifs and buts don't matter as long as the. Outlet is out of the reach of the law and are happily married ever after!
    --------------------------
    Team MocktailMommies
    Collage Of Life

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. May be, by that time, the family would get the married to some stranger because of her age!

      Cheers

      Delete
  13. She had only 2 options- not to marry was not an option for her. Its better to marry her love then. Though their age is less and they are still children.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Marriage at 18 is too early for me. But the story to choose the best for us is our right ans she has taken the best decision Beautifully penned, Thanks for sharing
    Dr. Bushra
    Do visit mine
    H for Heedful about The Third Trimester Of Pregnancy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you :) Happy to know you liked it :)

      Cheers

      Delete
  15. I agree with Suzy. Each one has different circumstances and different reasons for doing what they did. So, we cant really judge them. But yes, better to marry somebody who loves, supports and understands her!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! Most of the people who get married after their education, job or at the right age, still don't get love and respect in their lives!
      At least she knew here, what she was signing up for!

      Cheers

      Delete
  16. Well to each his own. I wouldn't get married so young even if turned out to be the best choice. Surely all young adults should use the time between adolescence and adulthood to find out more about themselves.... do we really know what makes us happy at 17/18 or even 25?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not really! We never know until we reach a worse situation!

      Cheers

      Delete
  17. My maid was in the exact same situation. I think, if they find true happiness with each other then rest everything takes a back seat.

    Shubhangi @ The Little Princess

    ReplyDelete
  18. This is a common situation with lower middle class families where they marry off their kids at an early age. What ever you mentioned is true. The only option they have is to stay happy by accepting it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah! It happens almost everywhere, that's the reason why she chose to marry him despite her age!

      Cheers

      Delete
  19. It's not my place to judge anyone's choices, that too someone whose reality is so far removed from mine. There's no way I can even begin to imagine her longings and yearnings. But knowing she found someone who respects her and will keep her happy, makes me happy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, if one is happy then there is nothing above it!

      Cheers

      Delete
  20. Most people yearn for someone who loves them even in their thirties. An arranged marriage sanctioned by society offers no guarentee of love or respect and can be a jail for someone who finds no love in it. So yes, while I agree they are both young, I am still gonna support them

    Godyears.net

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yah! I see so many marriages where there is no love or respect for the spouse. I too support them here, despite the age they are!

      Cheers

      Delete
  21. Social norms are that–a judgement of what is normal. But normal is measurements include the highs and lows, the extreme liberal and conservative. You cannot have a middle without two ends. I am glad the girl found happiness and both families agreed. She found her normal, and that is all that matters!
    Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  22. It's such a tragedy in many parts of the country where the economy and tradition rip lives apart. Such sadness when we see how lives are destroyed. Very well written,Geetika where retributive justice find its way in the post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind words, Vishal :)

      Cheers

      Delete
  23. What a lovely story you have spun out of a tale that is a norm in our day to day life! I love the way you have given it a special touch with your writing! Good Going.

    Theme: Peregrination Chronicles (travel)
    I is for innovation or Jugaad which we Indians are very famous for #atozchallenge

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww!! Hugs to you Shalini <3
      You made my day!

      Cheers

      Delete

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