Saturday, 15 April 2017

M- unabashed Mother


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When you’re on your own, doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or a girl, you do a lot of things in life. Some are selfless and some are selfish which means that you’re accountable only to yourself and you don’t need to answer anyone. You live the way you want, eat, sleep, go out or take random trips without being dependent on anyone. But once you get married, things change.

You need to think of your partner as well before making a big decision and involve them as well, which is totally fine.

But when you have kids, things turn upside down for both of you.

Now here is something, that mostly happens or what is generally done. Of course, there are exceptions to it.

So you do things the way you’ve seen them being done. If you’ve had your first baby as a girl, you don’t feel guilty about getting a test done for the second child and wish for it to be a boy. Not to mention, I doubt if anyone would go to see if their second child is daughter because they already have a son!

And now you’re the mother. And being the mother gives you every right to your child for its well-being. You will do everything possible if it’s good for the child.

It is all about that moment, which barely lasts a second but your mind comes across those thousands of thoughts.

You become unapologetically selfish for your family, you have your own reasons to do things and you don’t feel guilty about any of it! There is not an iota of regret in you! Why? Because those protective instincts make you do so and you did what you had to do for your child, even if it’s wrong!

And let’s assume you stay in a joint family, in a house loaded with people and children as many as they could make a cricket team altogether, you do a lot of things for your child to push him ahead, or let the other ones stay behind!

Be it keeping aside food or his favourite snack because he’s not around or grabbing the opportunity for your child before anyone else in the house, being prompt and making sure that your child wouldn’t miss anything, giving in to the whims and fancies of your child every single time, covering up their mistakes in front of the father or any other elder, hiding the heinous crimes (if ever they did) they commit, you play games as well and you do it unabashedly! Because you did what you had to do without caring about its consequences. 

A lot of people do that. I don’t know what is right or wrong. All I know is that it exists and this is all being human, I feel. Instances like going for an ultrasound to see if it’s a boy disturb me big time. But that’s what many (not all) women do. Again unapologetically! 

Cheers 

34 Discussion

  1. I was watching a video recently that said humans are conditioned to be biased. It's in our wiring and we can't really change but what we can do is know our biases and manage it. While the desire to have a male child is more of societal pressure, the rest is need to stay on top.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel that's the only rational reason to justify such acts!

      Cheers

      Delete
  2. As long as we follow our heart, it works. No one has been able to define what is right or wrong. I think with time our priority alters like you said when single, we are not accountable to anyone. A lovely write up.

    ReplyDelete
  3. As Vishal says there is no right or wrong and who is to know why people do what they do. Your post is food for thought.

    Suzy at Someday Somewhere - Music is

    ReplyDelete
  4. Actually the society is more responsible for the kind of thoughts that prevail our minds. We are changing now but that also depends person to person and family to family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yah! That makes sense, as well. Thanks for sharing your perspective, Geethica :)

      Cheers

      Delete
  5. It is tough to care for your child when you are a joint family, it is ironical but true. So mothers who hide food or grab opportunities, I totally get why they do that.
    Once again, a thought provoking post, GG

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks a ton, M! I'm glad I could do that!

      Cheers

      Delete
  6. Being a mom I know we become selfish for our kids but getting ultrasound done to check if its boy or a girl cannot be justified. It is wrong and should not be done. For a mother, a child is a child. She should be ready to welcome both. But I know there are many ifs and buts because of family. Our society is responsible. Hope it changes in coming years.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah.. things are changing but this thing still exists in a lot of places!

      Cheers

      Delete
  7. Mom is in totality everything. Inspiring

    ReplyDelete
  8. I know this happens dear but I am also glad things are changing for good now dear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yah! I too feel relieved about the same!

      Cheers

      Delete
  9. It makes me sad how in today's century also people consider having a son over a daughter!

    http://inkingexpressions.com/2017/04/15/memories-atozchallenge/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And yet, people do it so unabashedly!

      Cheers

      Delete
  10. A lot of people (mothers) do that..and it is so terribly sad...being partial to your own child and choosing them above other kids...really sad.

    Shubhangi @ The Little Princess

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It sure is, Shubhangi! On the bright side, we can make the difference by doing our bit!

      Cheers

      Delete
  11. It's sad to think even today people - specially mothers differentiate a son froma daughter!! I would have been happy with either one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is how it should be, Tina!

      Cheers

      Delete
  12. If being partial to your child has any negative impact (like thinking that he is entitled to get everything or he can get away because his mother supports him, blindly), I think that's totally uncalled for and should not be encouraged at all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yah!! It's extremely important to put in the right values at a very early age!

      Cheers

      Delete
  13. It is sad, but this happens when in a joint family. There is no right or wrong when you look through a Mom's eyes. As a mom, you would be partial to your child but it doesn't help your child in anyway.
    Thailand Travel Stories at Kohl Eyed Me
    26 Indian Dishes at Something's Cooking

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yah... I feel that's the only sane justification that calls for such a behavior!

      Cheers

      Delete
  14. Whether it's right or wrong depends on which side you are on...but I guess this nature is only human, to defend your near & dear ones, your own blood. Very nicely written!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks a lot! Glad you liked it!

      Cheers

      Delete
  15. True. When it comes to family, there is no right or wrong. You do whatever feels right to you. Right?

    Btw, I'm lagging behind. (Was unwell.) Will post my 'L' and catch up with your 'L' next Sunday. In the meantime, DO visit my 'M'.

    Happy AtoZing!
    Chicky @ www.mysteriouskaddu.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sure Chicky! Just hopping to your blog now!

      You take care :)

      Cheers

      Delete
  16. Well, the biased attitude is a natural conditioning that one needs to consciously break out of. Most people don't have the kind of maturity to step out of it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If only, maturity could come with age!

      Cheers

      Delete
  17. True..having a kid of 2 years and in a joint family i totally agree with your view..But i have always put my stand down and have been partial with my kid..Through my eyes it is totally correct

    Launching SIM Organics This April

    *Menaka Bharathi *

    *SimpleIndianMom*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! That is somehow justified!

      Cheers

      Delete

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